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Life. Honestly...what do I make of you?
I suppose it doesn't help that I am awake at three o'clock in the morning after only seven hours of sleep...after one of the longest nights of my life. So. I am entitled to some exhaustion and inability to create a coherent train of thought.
...and besides. I'm just bored, and am trying to keep myself preoccupied. I will stay up until 5 am. I will, damnit.
As for the question I first wrote...yeah. Life right now is pretty...oh, I don't even know the word for it. It's just kind of complicated at the moment. But you know...I'm not as bitter about it as I thought I would be. First off, I am way too tired to be bitter. Secondly, I don't have that kind of energy. Thirdly...well, what is the point, honestly? To make a big deal out of something, and feel completely drained afterwards, and have gotten no further than when I began? I don't have time to waste right now.
Besides. I did enough of that in High School. Now I am 18 years old (as my parents so kindly keep reminding me) and I have to make something out of my life. Which, admittedly, is one giant, pathetic, pity-inducing mess.
And yet, I can't say I'm afraid. I don't want to grow up. Really, I'd prefer staying a teenager. But I'm also kind of excited. I mean...first and foremost, I'll get to move out soon. Huzzah! Getting away from my parents...that's a treat in of itself. And I'll be starting my life with Tom- really starting it.
And I'll be able to work on my career, and start a family, too- I was born to have children. ^^ (Well obviously. I am female, after all. Ergo, I was meant to have children).
So. Life is complicated. But I find myself not hating it as much as I used to when I was...15 and dumb.
I suppose it doesn't help that I am awake at three o'clock in the morning after only seven hours of sleep...after one of the longest nights of my life. So. I am entitled to some exhaustion and inability to create a coherent train of thought.
...and besides. I'm just bored, and am trying to keep myself preoccupied. I will stay up until 5 am. I will, damnit.
As for the question I first wrote...yeah. Life right now is pretty...oh, I don't even know the word for it. It's just kind of complicated at the moment. But you know...I'm not as bitter about it as I thought I would be. First off, I am way too tired to be bitter. Secondly, I don't have that kind of energy. Thirdly...well, what is the point, honestly? To make a big deal out of something, and feel completely drained afterwards, and have gotten no further than when I began? I don't have time to waste right now.
Besides. I did enough of that in High School. Now I am 18 years old (as my parents so kindly keep reminding me) and I have to make something out of my life. Which, admittedly, is one giant, pathetic, pity-inducing mess.
And yet, I can't say I'm afraid. I don't want to grow up. Really, I'd prefer staying a teenager. But I'm also kind of excited. I mean...first and foremost, I'll get to move out soon. Huzzah! Getting away from my parents...that's a treat in of itself. And I'll be starting my life with Tom- really starting it.
And I'll be able to work on my career, and start a family, too- I was born to have children. ^^ (Well obviously. I am female, after all. Ergo, I was meant to have children).
So. Life is complicated. But I find myself not hating it as much as I used to when I was...15 and dumb.
I'm feeling: 
exhausted
exhausted1 comment | Leave a comment
busy
hot
good
nervous
tired
tired
depressed
hyper
